No good deed goes unpunished

I just have to vent this somewhere. I am so very frustrated right now.

I have a final paper due tonight at midnight for a class on child abuse, but I'm so upset by the vicious and unfounded attacks, it is interfering with my writing, so I will see if I can reset by writing it out here so I can get back on track before the deadline expires...

I have spent most of my life trying to help people. I have literally put my life on the line repeatedly to help people. I have been the anti-bully, stepping in to fight the bullies when I see either individuals or groups picking on those unable to protect themselves. Both metaphorically, and literally physically.

Then I get lambasted because my language wasn't sensitive enough in some clearly unscientific polling on rpg.net clear back in 2012, and some people jump on the bandwagon trying to smear my reputation publicly, and knock down all my efforts as a "scam".

You... have... to... be... kidding... me! Arrrgh!

I do SO very much volunteer work, and provide so many free services to so many people, the Deaf community, CP & other developmental disorders (DD), brain injury, at-risk youth, troubled youth, the whole range of Autism spectrum from 2 year toddlers to adults, Down syndrome,  the elderly, youth camps, and so much more. I am just agog and aghast.

Today was another example of some people just assuming the worst, and too inconsiderate to read before jumping to conclusions and attacking me... Okay, they probably have trauma in their lives too, which has made them so overly hypersensitive. But their hypersensitivity, and a system that assumes guilty with no chance to prove innocent, actually led to my being summarily kicked out of the Inclusive RPGing FB group without any chance to defend myself and my reputation! A group of around 500-600 people now assume I am some sort of transgender trolling basher! I have put in requests via PM to the listed administrators asking to address this, but so far no responses at all.

Here is a PDF of the parallel thread in the RPG Brain Trust FB group. I was just asking for volunteers to help consolidate research bibliography on the website. Oh boy I didn't see that coming!

I have been doing the RPG Research stuff, first a kernel around 1985, and continuously since 2004.

Thank goodness Professor Bowman was kind enough to step in and put in a good word for me! I can't thank her enough for so many things. She is "good people" in many ways.

But meanwhile, hours later, still banned from the other group. Yeah, that's inclusive. This reminds me of the KYRS folks, "it is free speech", but only as long as it 100% agrees with our opinions. What they are doing is a form of bullying. The very behavior they are accusing (justly) others of doing to them. This bullying group shaming of individuals culture is out of control!

I have always had big boots, and am not afraid to step in and change things where I see a wrong being done, whatever the personal cost, but this is just ridiculous.

It is very tempting to just say "screw it" and go back to making lots of money in tech, and quit spending what money I have left, what life/health/years I have left, and quit trying to help the very people that are spitting on me and my efforts.

At least, that is how it feels in my currently very hurt moment.

This too will pass, but it can't help but have an impact on future considerations.

Will this stop me in my efforts? Not bloody well likely!

Will this make me much more gun-shy with a group of people that I will have to worry about parsing every little thing I say and do, and far less likely to want to work with these types of communities in the future? A group that assumes I'm attacking them, when I have for years been doing the opposite. Probably going to just simply avoid them and the related topics. There are plenty of other groups needing help that have been very grateful, supportive, KIND, TOLERANT, and less bloody headache.

And look at the irony of this:

https://unicornbooty.com/fun-and-function-how-rpgs-can-heal-your-mind-and-body/

That was a phone interview of me a few months ago, notice the website.

I have gone out of my way to try and help others, from so many diverse groups including gender issues, helping to overcome barriers to participation. It is a real shame when those in a group professing needing such considerations, do not treat others the way they wish to be treated.

Sigh. I am hurt. I am sad. I am mad. But this too will pass.

What fools these mortal be, forgive them for they know not what they do.

Remind myself of my mantra, "Patience and Love, Patience and Love"....